


when i need your love, if I need your help, would you rescue me?

by calthighway



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, TW: death threats, ooc callum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2020-11-22 14:56:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20876093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calthighway/pseuds/calthighway
Summary: A laugh left Callum’s lips, it didn’t look as if he’d taken offence to Ben’s words. Maybe it was something he’d heard many times before. “I do my job well, Mr Mitchell,” Callum’s head lifted, pulling his suit jacket back to show a firearm tucked away, “and for the fighting, I’ve got assistance,” another smile, this time more confident.or bodyguard au





	1. Chapter 1

Ben never thought he’d need protection, let alone a _bodyguard_ who’d have to watch and track his every move.

At first, he thought he was going mad. He was a _millionaire_ after all, people knew his name, knew where he worked and knew he was good at what he did.

He’d worked from nothing. Built his own businesses from pure hard work and determination, a will to prove himself since he was a child. A little boy who was told countless times he was good for nothing. He did it for that small boy who listened, and even told himself that it was true; that he’d always be pathetic and waste of space.

Then he grew up, grew wiser and stronger. Worked his way through college and then university. 

He’d done it all alone, he didn’t need anyone else. He was happy with his lifestyle, with himself and everything he stood for.

He had every right to be proud.

But with the ups came the downs, and Ben found himself paying for his success.

First, it started with the feeling of just being watched. Something uneasy would buildup inside, whether it was on his lunch break, out with friends, driving home. It lasted for months, but he laughed it off, his friends telling him loads of people get the same feeling and that he wasn’t anything special. 

Then the blackmailing letters started, threats to burn his home down with him in it, kill his dog, that if he even thought of phoning the police it’d be the last thing he did. It was all the sick things you’d see on a film and not reality, the kind of stuff Ben would roll his eyes at had he seen it on the tv.

The late night phone calls were the final straw. Unknown numbers ringing every night at the same time without fail. Ben would answer, swear down the phone and promise that he’d find whoever it was and beat the shit out of them. He tried to ignore it after a week, he then changed his mobile number when they didn’t stop, felt like he was losing control and that was something Ben never handled well.

The threat of losing his life was what stopped him going to the police. If it wasn’t for his job and the reputation he had, he’d probably have found out who it was by now and dealt with this his way.

Maybe it would have ended in death and Ben wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He’d spent all his childhood been scared, he wasn’t prepared to go through it all again.

Instead, he’d searched online about hiring a flipping bodyguard. He almost laughed, closed down the laptop hundreds of times before giving in and actually going ahead with it.

He hoped this was something that paid off.

*

He wasn’t sure when he expected the knock at the door and the confirmation that his bodyguard had arrived, but early hours the next morning wasn’t it.

He almost felt like ignoring it, he’d never been a morning person and he hadn’t even had chance to shower and present himself even half decently. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, groaning and yawning, before dragging himself out of bed and putting on his glasses and headed down the steps.

The minute the door was open, the taller man on his doorstep pushed his way through and closed the door behind them. Ben pulled his dressing gown over his body tight, looking up and down at the stranger in his house. “Ya ever heard of saying hello?”

The guy smoothed down his tie, “Callum Highway,” he said. “Hi,” he replied slowly.

Ben shook his head. “And? Ya could be the person stalking me and I’ve just let you into my property. Think I need a better introduction than that, mate.”

Callum’s back straightened. “I know you let me in because you received confirmation I’d arrived.” Callum’s eyes began to roam around his surroundings. “I also believe you’re not stupid enough to answer the door to just anyone. Given the fact ya hired me,” Callum finished on a tight smile, eyes landing on Ben.

Ben just huffed, maybe speechless for a second or two before tilting his chin up and biting back. “Ya don’t look as if you could fight your way out of a paper bag.”

A laugh left Callum’s lips, it didn’t look as if he’d taken offence to Ben’s words. Maybe it was something he’d heard many times before. “I do my job well, Mr Mitchell,” Callum’s head lifted, pulling his suit jacket back to show a firearm tucked away, “and for the fighting, I’ve got assistance,” another smile, this time more confident. 

There wasn’t room for two arrogant people, Ben was the exception. “Alright, no need to be so…”

“Arrogant?” Callum finished for him, licking his lips and Ben already hated him.

*

Callum spent the rest of the day setting up surveillance cameras in rooms around the house, back and front. He’d dressed into something more casual, but he didn’t feel it.

This had been the biggest house Callum had ever been in. The beds were almost as big as the rooms themselves, there were chandeliers in every room, and he could see his face in the flooring beneath. This place was way too big for just one person, and Callum ignored the thought of how lonely it must be.

“Nice to see ya’ve made yourself at home,” Ben sat on the bed behind him, legs crossed. “Thought your lot always stuck to the suits and shades.”

Callum tried not to roll his eyes. “You’re not a celebrity, are ya? No need for all the special treatment,” Callum opened his suitcase, finally having chance to unpack properly.

“Why should a celebrity be seen anymore important than I am.” Ben eyes Callum suspiciously.

“It’s just they’re an higher risk than you are,” Callum shrugs. “Everyone knows a singer or Hollywood actor. You’re just another bloke on the street to anyone who doesn’t know ya.” 

“More fool them,” Ben smirks. “Anyone’s lucky to know me.” 

Callum nods along, “of course they are.” He hangs up his suit. “That’s why someone’s after ya.” 

Ben’s face falls. “I’m not a monster, Callum. I’ve got feelings. I don’t know why _anyone_ would want to hurt me.”

“You can’t think of a _single_ thing?” Callum asks, face serious. “A bitter ex, or something?”

“Don’t really do boyfriends,” Ben stated. “Too busy for all that.” He smiled then, “Coopers enough for me,” Callum looked at him blankly. “Dog.”

“Ah,” Callum smiled genuinely then. “Hope you’re gonna pay me extra for looking after him, too.”

“Yeah- course-“

“It was a joke, Mr Mitchell,” Callum cleared his throat. “You’re already paying me more than is asked of.” 

“You’re under my roof. You’ve probably got family of your own and yet you’re here. Protecting my life,” Ben looked like everything had suddenly hit him. What Callum was actually here for.

Callum looked down at him awkwardly, chose not to focus on anything about his own life. Nobody ever thought to think about Callum’s life before, about what he could be risking. It took him back slightly, but he was here for a job, he had to act professional.

“I’m getting paid for it, aren’t I?” Callum looked out the window, body hid behind the silk curtains. “I wouldn’t let it keep ya awake at night.”

Ben shook his head, but something made him smile. “Can I make ya something to eat?”

“Don’t go to any trouble for me, Mr Mitchell-“ 

“Please. Call me Ben,” he stood up. He rubbed at the back of his neck, watching the back of Callum’s frame. “Microwave meal good enough for ya?”

He noticed the edge of Callum’s lips rise, before his head nodded. “Yeah. Sounds perfect.”

*

Callum doesn’t often lose his temper, he doesn’t have reason to.

But he’s been living with Ben for nearly a month now and Ben’s seemed to have found buttons to press that Callum didn’t even know he had.

Callum just wants a simple life. He wants to do his job well, and be able to sleep easy, wants to be able to tell himself that putting his own life on the line is worth it.

He’s left questioning his career day in day out lately.

It turns out being a millionaire isn’t enough for Ben. He wants _more_ and he does so by doing stuff that aren’t on the right side of the law.

Callum tries to ignore it at first, it’s none of his business; he hasn’t come here to change Ben or what he does in his life.

But then Ben somehow goes out without the knowledge of Callum, and the only reason Callum knows is because Ben comes back sporting a bruised eye and cut lip.

Callum composes himself best he can, puts all his training in not lashing out himself. “What were ya thinking?”

Ben groans, the frozen bag of peas making him flinch. “You said before ya didn’t have to hold my hand at all times, so I went off, and look what happens when I’m left to my own devices.”

Callum points a finger, but still restrains himself from acting out in a manner that could make him lose his job in a flash. “Don’t blame me, alright? I told you as long as I knew where you were at all times I didn’t have to be there. Ya went against what I told you, Ben. This is your fault, no one else’s.”

“I pay you to to protect me,” Ben sits up. “You aren’t doing a very good job of it.” Ben turned away, he didn’t mean it. Ben was just wound up at himself for putting himself in danger, it didn’t stop him from lashing out, though. “You’re the worst bodyguard ever.”

It sounded like a school playground argument, petty insults back and forth.

Callum just bit his tongue. He’d grown wise to Ben’s ways, but it didn’t stop him from answering back, giving Ben the reaction he wanted. “I am paid to protect you from whoever is after you, not your own stupidity.”

It felt idiotic, but Callum headed to his room feeling defeated.

*

Neither had slept well, it was the first time they’d had crossed words. Surprising really, when they didn’t hit it off on the right foot when they first met.

But having someone under your roof 24/7 means you have to learn to adapt. Means someone sees the /_real_ you and not just what you show on the outside when you leave the safety net of your own home.

Callum’s up first, head down concentrating on something on his phone and Ben awkwardly clears his throat, feels like he’s interrupting something. Callum looks up, offers a small smile and he moves to get up. “Best go get ready.” 

“Let me make ya breakfast,” Ben says quickly. “Say sorry for last night.”

It’s strange, because when Callum smiles, his skin turns a shade of pink and it makes Ben smile back, he feels light on his feet for a moment before Callum looks back up at him and he tries to look unmoved.

“Think I’ve been staying here long enough now, let me make you something,” Callum offers. He moves into the kitchen, “there’s only so many times I can stomach scrambled egg on toast.”

“Are you saying I can’t cook?” Ben frowns, “I know you aren’t, because I’m great.”

Callum just scoffs, but his eyes twinkle and Ben has to look away. “Just go and sit down and try stay where I can see ya.”

Callum puts on the apron and makes a start. Ben tries not to spend the whole time watching what he’s doing.

After breakfast, they sit in silence for a while, but it isn’t a big deal, it feels _nice_. “When did ya learn to cook?” Ben quizzes, feeling relaxed and stuffed on a hearty breakfast.

Callum shrugs, “mostly in the army,” he doesn’t want to talk about that part of his life, it’s something he fights to blank out of his mind daily.

Ben seems to notice his discomfort, and he chooses not to push his luck. He chooses to just thank him instead, and they wash up together quietly.

Ben tries not to like how domesticated it all is.

*

“Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.”

Callum bites his lip, tries not to laugh, and he shouldn’t, because how the hell does Ben get away with speaking to people like that? Especially people who work for him.

He guesses being a millionaire gives you some kind of authority, at least that’s how Ben seems to see things.

Ben hangs up, rolling his eyes dramatically. “I actually work with idiots.”

Callum leans on his elbows, hides his smile behind his hands. “Didn’t you hire them? So who’s the real idiot?” 

Ben looks over at him in surprise, mouth gaping. “I hired you too, remember.” Ben points, but he’s grinning. “So watch ya lip.”

Callum finally lets himself laugh and Ben seems to look at him for ages, unable to catch his breath. Callum’s never looked so care free, he’s dressed casually, hair free of gel and Ben realises how good it feels to be able to see and make him laugh.

Ben swallows, scratches shyly at his forehead. “We should have a drink,” Ben thinks aloud, smiling. 

“I shouldn’t,” Callum shakes his head, looks apologetic. “I’m on duty.”

“Do ya ever have a day off?” Ben gets up to get two beers from the fridge. “Nobody will know,” Ben smirks. “Unless someone’s watching you, too.”

Callum takes the beer after staring at it for too long. “Nah. I guess one won’t hurt.”

One turns into two, and they lose count by the end of the night. It shouldn’t, but it ends with them both on the sofa, Ben’s head resting on Callum’s shoulder as they fall asleep.

Ben wakes up alone, with a cushion under his head and blanket tucked over him. He drops off back to sleep with a fond smile.

*

It’s the first time Ben’s been alone in his home since hiring Callum, and he’s got to admit, he doesn’t like it one bit.

Callum’s away to deal with a new client, Callum wouldn’t say much else and he’d just told Ben he’d be back on Monday and that he was still able to track his whereabouts and that he could get in touch if anything didn’t feel right. 

Ben had kind of forgot that anyone was even targeting him. The phone calls during Callum’s stay had pretty much stopped and he hadn’t had anymore stuff through the post. It was as if everything before Callum hadn’t even happened.

He couldn’t ignore the feeling of dread wash over him once he was alone. He’d never felt so lonely, so vulnerable. The first night alone he didn’t sleep, he’d stayed downstairs with Cooper on his lap, just in case anything did happen and he had to be prepared.

The second night he felt a bit better. He dealt with work emails and phone calls, made too much food for just one person, and sat to watch films. He still didn’t get much sleep regardless.

The third night he felt jumpy. Maybe the lack of sleep had a part to play in his erratic behaviour, but he just couldn’t seem to settle. He spent most of the night twitching blinds and curtains to see outside the house.

Sleep won in the end, he’d fallen asleep on the bed Callum was using; the smell of his aftershave made Ben feel more at ease, like he was close.

Banging at the back of the house woke Ben, he jumped up and tried to think about his next move. His heart began to race when the noises didn’t stop, he was close to running down the stairs and just facing whoever it was outside one on one, but his body wouldn’t cooperate. 

Instead he phoned Callum in a panic, the phone rang to the point Ben didn’t think he was going to answer, but he let out a breath when Callum finally answered.

“Someone’s trying to break in,” Ben whispered. “I don’t know what to do.”

“No alarms have gone off,” Callum frowned, checking his work phone, the app he had not showing any alerts. “Ya sure it’s just not the wind?”

“Callum,” Ben huffed. “Can ya just get here? Please?”

“Stay where ya are and if anything changes phone the police, alright?”

Ben didn’t even have time to reply before Callum hung up the phone.

All Ben could do was wait, and he was thankful it wasn’t too long before Callum was coming in from the side garage door. For such a tall guy, he was surprisingly light on his feet, making Ben jump when he sees him at the bottom of the stairs.

“Fuck sake, Callum, you trying to kill me?”

Callum rolls his eyes, before telling Ben to come down and tell him where the noise is coming from. They cautiously head to the back of the house, Callum in front with a gun in hand and Ben’s throat dries.

“Stay back,” Callum held his hand up behind him to still Ben.

“Be careful.” Callum looked back at Ben, a look that said ‘this is my job,’ but Ben didn’t have time to think rationally. “I’m just saying,” Ben mumbled.

Ben sat back whilst Callum made his way to the door, unlocking it and pushing the lock back slowly. He pointed his firearm straight ahead has he opened the door, and he could have swore, he could have shoved Ben against the wall and give him a piece of his mind.

Cooper came sprinting in, jumping over Callum’s feet to jump up at Ben, his tail wagging. “Oh boy, I’m so sorry!” Ben knelt down to stroke him and kiss his head.

Callum looked down at the scene before him before shutting the door louder than necessary. “I ain’t seeing this,” Callum dropped the gun down onto the counter before putting his hands on his hips. “Ya wake me at god knows what time because ‘someone’s trying to break in’ and it turns out to be your four legged friend!”

Ben looks up at him, Cooper settled in his arms. “Alright, John Wick, calm down. Ya said to phone ya if I needed anything, and I did. So you can’t blame me, can ya?”

“I’m too tired for this,” Callum rubbed his face. “I’ll double check everything and I’ll be off.”

“Why can’t you just stay here?” Ben asks as casually as he can. “You’ve got a bed upstairs already.”

“I can’t,” Callum looks warn out and Ben doesn’t seem to understand what’s happened between them. “I’ve got other clients to think about Ben, not just you, alright?”

“What’s your problem?” Ben asks, nostrils flaring in annoyance. “You’re /_my _bodyguard, I felt threatened so I called you and you’re acting as if I’ve asked too much of you.”

“No. No, course ya ain’t,” Callum falters. “I’m sorry I…”

“Forget it,” Ben snaps. “See yourself out.”

Ben turns to leave, Cooper by his feet and Callum’s not sure what makes him do it, but he doesn’t want Ben to be angry at him, he doesn’t want him to walk away.

“I got scared, alright?” Callum admits, “I wasn’t here to protect ya if there was an intruder and something happened to ya I’d have hated myself.”

Ben looks up at him like he’s responsible for the stars in the sky, a warmth spreads across his skin and he wants to smooth the crease away from Callum’s forehead.

It’s Callum’s duty to keep him safe, but there seems to be something rooted deep inside that shows it means more than just that. That this isn’t Callum’s usual reaction to a client being at risk. 

“I’ve been scared all weekend,” Ben admits, head down. “Haven’t really slept. Didn’t feel safe without ya really, and then I heard noises and I just panicked. I’m sorry for-“

“No,” Callum reached out, his hand gentle on Ben’s arm. “You ain’t got anything to be sorry for.”

Ben looks at Callum’s hand on his arm, the hair on his arms standing on end, a shiver runs down his spine and he wouldn’t mind if Callum never let go.

But Callum steps away, let’s go too soon and Ben tries not go after his touch once more. Ben lets himself take Callum in properly. He’s all red faced, his hair soft, thick and messy, ears a dark red and Ben shouldn’t find him so attractive.

It’s as if tree days apart have flicked a switch inside Ben’s head. He sees the man behind the suit and gelled hair, the man who walks around with a straight face and hardened stare.

Standing here, in front of Ben, he’s nothing but a soft, scared man.

“You’re still in your pyjamas,” Ben says out of the blue, smiling at the purpled bottoms with green aliens on.

“Hm, yeah,” Callum clears his throat. “I just wanted to get here so didn’t think of changing.” He folds his arms over his chest. “Sorry, it’s not very professional.”

Ben just rolls his eyes, “ya could have come here naked and I wouldn’t have given a shit.” It makes Callum smile. “In fact, I think I’d have preferred it.”

“Ben!” Callum laughs softly, tongue wetting along his bottom lip. “Ya can’t say stuff like that.”

“Just did,” Ben shrugs. “Will you stay then?”

“I can’t just do that,” Callum swallows. “I’ll be back tomorrow, alright?” 

“What if something happens?” Ben tries, “I’ll pay ya extra.”

“What?” Callum’s face falls. “I don’t care about your money.”

“Two grand?” Ben’s not listening, moving to go into the safe in the living room behind the small bookcase.

Callum follows him, “are you this stupid on purpose?”

Ben stops, turns to look at him. “Sorry?”

“Forget it,” Callum asserts. The softness behind his eyes have gone, he now faces Ben with a blank stare and it feels like they’ve just being pulled apart, somethings detached, but Ben doesn’t know what he’s said or done. “I will do a final check of the house and leave you to get some sleep.”

Callum doesn’t say goodbye and Ben doesn’t sleep.

*

Callum does come back the next day, but the atmosphere is different.

It stays like that for the week. Callum only speaks when he needs to, and he refers to Ben as Mr Mitchell again. Everything has started from scratch, but Ben hates it like this.

He gives Callum as much space as he can, respects him enough to do what he needs. Then it becomes harder, because nothing changes. Callum doesn’t let his guard down once.

Ben works harder than usual. He does anything he can, but Callum is never far from his thoughts. When he’s in his office, he knows Callum’s stood outside his door ready for anything to go wrong.

It’s the end of the week, Ben’s making them something to eat and Callum’s surprisingly stayed in the kitchen, all week they’ve eaten separately and Ben hopes this is the start of something fresh.

He cuts the onions up and then a message pops up on his screen.

_T_

_Still up for that date? ;) _

Ben smiles a little, but he doesn’t even want to go on a date. He flirted with some guy, he’d flirted with many guys from the dating apps on his phone in the past week, but Tom didn’t seem to give it up so Ben give in, in the end. He’d promised he’d take him for a few drinks in a fancy bar, show him what he was missing, but the idea didn’t thrill him.

“Do ya want a beer?” Ben asks, looking over at Callum who’s stood with his back to him looking out the window.

Callum shakes his head. “No thanks, Mr Mitchell.”

Ben sighs, his jaw tensing. He decides to text Tom back.

_How’s tomorrow sound? _

The text back was almost instant.

_T_

_Perfect. Just like you ;) _

Ben sneered, not even bothering to reply.

“Fine,” Ben threw the onions into the frying pan. “I’ve got a date tomorrow.”

Callum turned around then, his face suddenly soft and confused, just the way Ben remembered it to be. Just the way he liked it.

Callum came closer, standing opposite Ben, his hands gripping the counter. “Right. Ya’ll have to tell me where and when, alright?”

“What, you third wheeling mate?”

Callum frowns. “I’ll keep my distance, obviously. It’ll be like I’m not even there.”

“Cool. Whatever,” Ben opened up his beer, drinking most of it in one go.

He was getting bored now. Bored of Callum not being able to take a joke, or even look at him properly. He was emotionless and it didn’t suit him.

Callum went to sit down, his expression blank, but his legs under the table didn’t stop going up and down, he didn’t stop smoothing his hand down his tie, he didn’t stop thinking about having to see Ben with another man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re in some bar, a bar that charges almost £20 for a bottle of wine you could find in your local supermarket for cheaper, Callum finds himself sneering, because of course that’s where Ben brings his date. 
> 
> /this chapter is full on angst... sorry

Callum does as he’s supposed to; he keeps out of eyesight, but stays where he can see Ben.

They’re in some bar, a bar that charges almost £20 for a bottle of wine you could find in your local supermarket for cheaper, Callum finds himself sneering, because of course that’s where Ben brings his date.

Callum keeps his head down, pretends to be on the phone most of the night so nobody tries hitting on him; he’s already noticed a few women with their eyes on him.

He lets himself have one drink, he would never usually, the thought wouldn’t even cross his mind, but tonight is different. He _needs_ a little something to get him through tonight. He drinks it as slowly as he can, seems to take a drink any time he sees something he doesn’t like.

Like when Ben’s date leans in close to whisper something in his ear, or his hands rest against Ben’s arms. Or even worse, when Ben laughs and leans in just as close to say something back.

Callum didn’t realise how hard tonight would be. He feels like he’s in a horror film and he’s the main character, about to be hunted down and forced to make it out alive.

He checks his work phone, checks in on over clients, doesn’t find any peace in the fact that they’re all safe like he usually would.

He finishes off his drink, licking the foam off his lips and wants to turn back time, wants to go back to a life where his personal life didn’t interfere with his work life.

It all seems impossible now.

As the bar grows emptier, Ben’s laugh grows louder, his dates touches become more confident. Callum tries not to stare, he should be good at being subtle, and he is, he knows he is. He hates questioning his professionalism, but it’s harder now – _Ben _makes it harder. It’s as if all his years of training are disappearing and he’s back at the start again.

Everything seems to mock him, laugh and point when he sees Ben’s date move in to kiss him. Ben pulls away quickly, turns to face Callum’s direction as if he knew he’d been watching all along.

Callum tries to divert his eyes away, but it’s too late.

The damage is done.

*

“Why were ya glaring at me all night?” Ben asks, his tone harsh.

“I weren’t,” Callum takes his jacket off and hangs it up. “I was doing my job.”

Ben sneers, biting his tongue. “I could feel ya eyes burning in the back of my head all night!” He takes his own jacket off and throws it onto the sofa. “I don’t know what ya problem is.”

“I don’t have one Mr Mitchell,” Callum tries to stand tall, the image of Ben kissing someone else burning fresh in his mind. “Seems you’re the one with a problem.”

Ben frowns, his arms wide. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He sits on a bar stool, bites down on his finger to calm his anger.

“Going on a date with a guy ya don’t even like,” Callum shrugs, “comes off pretty _desperate_ if ya ask me.”

Ben shakes his head in shock, his mouth gaping wider with every second. “What would you know?” Ben points, “don’t forget your place here, _mate._”

Callum huffs, drops his head down. He’s defeated, doesn’t even know why they’re having this argument other than the fact it’s out of his own bitterness and jealousy. “Don’t worry, ya make it hard to forget.”

Ben sighs, gets up to leave. “Ya know, this passive aggressive stuff you’ve got going on ain’t really doing it for me.”

Callum watches him go, but he doesn’t get very far, his mouth is opening before he’s got time to stop himself. “Are ya going to be seeing him again?”

Ben stops, his shoulders rising with tension. He turns and shrugs. “Maybe.” There’s a pause, Ben’s voice a little softer when he asks, “would that be a problem?”

Callum wants to scream _yes_. Instead he shakes his head and lies through his teeth, “course not.”

The mood shifts between them again, Ben’s eyes growing dark as he just accepts it, nods once. He scratches the length of his eyebrow before turning away again.

“See ya in the morning,” Ben says, face down at the floor, his brow creased in a frown.

Callum doesn’t reply, not sure he can speak without making this worse than what it already is.

*

Ben sees _Tom_ again. He sees him on the weekend, Ben asking Callum to drive him to pick Tom up from his place.

Again, Callum spends the night watching on. This time, Ben doesn’t seem to hold back. He doesn’t move away when Tom pulls him in for a kiss, Ben’s hands cupping his face. Callum curses everything he sees under his breath.

Later in the night when they’re ready to leave, Callum follows from behind, his bad mood clear even in the dark. Ben stops outside the car, telling Tom to get in. “Tom is staying the night,” Ben tells Callum once the car door is shut.

Callum’s mouth dries, a stabbing pain causing him to lean against the car. “Do ya think that’s wise?”

Ben just laughs, it’s so cold and unattached that Callum can’t look at him properly. “Why wouldn’t it be? I’ve got some hot guy all over me like a dog on heat,” Ben smirks, his mouth twitching at the side.

Callum sighs, “ya don’t even know him. Ya don’t know if he’s a risk to you.”

Ben’s mouth forms into a straight line before opening the car door. “That’s what I pay you for, Callum. Now, just do your job without passing judgment. Think ya can do that?”

Callum does his best not to reach for Ben’s arm, instead calming himself by smoothing out his shirt and getting in the car to drive. He appreciates the black screen between him and the back, because Ben’s laugh alone runs cold down his spine.

*  
Ben stubbornly opens his own car door, avoiding any communication with Callum as they head up the steps to his house.

Callum quickly scans the area before following them in. They don’t get very far, Ben picking up an envelope from the ground. His face falls, his breathing turns quick because he knows it isn’t just any normal letter.

Ben was close to hoping he was free, safe now. He scrunches it up angrily, his nostrils flaring wide. “Hey, what is it?” Tom asks, his happier mood turning into concern.

Ben closes his eyes against the heavy weight of Tom’s hands on his arm, he doesn’t want him here. He doesn’t want him to see this version of himself. The real Ben who Callum’s grown to know. “Think ya should go,” Ben moves away. “I’ll call ya.”

“But-“

“Ya heard him,” Callum snaps, the pit of his belly hot with tonight’s events. And now _this_. He opens the door and stares Tom down until he gives up, looks between them and huffs his way out.

“Hey,” Callum approaches gently, their animosity forgotten, the paper in Ben’s hand reminds him why he’s here. Ben needs him. “Hey, you’re alright,” Callum comes to stand in front of him.

“I thought it had stopped,” Ben swallows. “I thought it was over.”

Callum sighs, forgot how young and tortured Ben looked when he was scared. “Give it to me. Ya don’t need to read what’s on it. It’s not worth it.”

“Only it is,” Ben looks up like a startled animal. “Someone wants me dead and I don’t know who.” He throws the envelope to the floor, his knuckles white from balling his hands into fists.

“We will get to the bottom of this, alright? They won’t get away with it,” Callum tells him confidently, tries his best to smile through the worry.

“I’ll fucking kill ‘em when I get my hands on them,” Ben seethes, biting down harshly on his lip.

“Not if I get them first,” Callum breathes deeply.

Ben looks up at him, releases his lip from his teeth. His face softens and he smiles tiredly up at him. “That’s sexy of ya.”

Callum rolls his eyes, but he smiles back, feels an urge to get closer. He lets his hand come up to Ben’s shoulder, squeezes it a little. “I’m sorry,” Ben looks on confused. “For the way I’ve been lately. I know I ain’t been easy to be around.”

“That makes two of us then,” Ben says, an apology without actually saying the words. Callum accepts it.

Callum moves his hand away, but Ben instinctively takes Callum’s hand in his, his thumb gentle over Callum’s knuckles. Callum’s stuck for words, his mouth dry and he gulps, “let me make ya a warm drink, it’s been a long day.”

“Kiss me,” Ben replies quietly, pulls Callum closer by his shirt. “Please.”

“I- we can’t,” Callum shakes his head. “Your heads a mess right now, Ben. You ain’t thinking straight.”

“Never do,” Ben teases, pulls at Callum’s shirt some more. “I’ve wanted ya to kiss me for ages,” Ben tilts his head back with more confidence, “and I think you want it, too.”

“Don’t Ben,” Callum sighs. “It won’t end well.”

Ben just laughs, his eyes siding to the scrunched paper at their feet. “I’m probably gonna get killed anyway, might as well have some fun before it.”

“Don’t joke about stuff like that,” Callum licks his lips, “nobody is gonna hurt ya. I promise.”

Ben holds his breath, taken aback by the sincerity behind Callum’s words. “I’m lucky to have ya,” Ben folds his hand into the front of Callum’s shirt again, adamant.

“Ya weren’t saying that earlier,” Callum raises his eyebrows, their hands settled at their sides with fingers entwined.

“I know, but I _am.”_

Callum smiles softly, eyes focused on their hands. “That’s why I ain’t gonna take advantage of ya.”

“I want to,” Ben laughs as if Callum is being stupid. “_You_ want to.”

Callum nods, a sad smile on his face. “Yeah. But not like this, Ben. Not now when there’s so much going on.“

Everything comes to a stop.   
  
Ben’s face falls, along with the hand that fit in his, a darkness clouds over Ben’s face. The air turns bitter, Ben’s nostrils flare, his mouth twisting nastily and he laughs; sadistic and it’s all the things Callum hate. “Ya know what? You ain’t worth the hassle.”

Ben turns and storms off before he can take back what he’s sad, ignoring the pained sound of his name being called from behind.

**Author's Note:**

> so this was supposed to be a one shot, but i’ve reached a point i hate every word I’ve wrote of this so i’ve had to stop and just post what i’ve got of this before i delete it all. 
> 
> anyways, be kind to yourselves and hope you liked it even a teeny bit ❤️


End file.
